


Maybe, I’m Addicted to You

by sapphicbenoist



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Graphic depiction of drugs, It gets super dark so please pay attention to chapter warnings, Nicole has a drug addiction okay, PLS pay attention to tags, References to Drugs, Waverly just wants to save her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicbenoist/pseuds/sapphicbenoist
Summary: “Seriously, Waves. Just be careful with her. I’ve heard stuff about Nicole that just doesn’t sit right with me. You have too big of a heart. Just, don’t get it broken.”Waverly stared at Wynonna pointedly. “We are just friends. I’m serious.”That’s all they could ever be, that’s all they ever will be.“Well, I think she’s hot. So, if you’re not claiming her then she’s free range, right?” Chrissy beamed.Waverly sighed. “What happened to ping pong?”
Relationships: Rosita Bustillos/Wynonna Earp, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 26
Kudos: 173





	1. Chapter One: Coping

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ:
> 
> hi, firstly i just wanted to add. i’ve come to the conclusion that most of my works include a lot of partying and drugs. eventually, i’m going to write a fic that doesn’t have to do with all of that.
> 
> second, pleaseeeee pay attention to the trigger warnings on certain chapters. this fic gets super dark in some parts. i’ve never seen anyone write anything like this so i figured i’d give it my best shot. if you have any comments or concerns, please feel free to voice them.
> 
> T/W: drugs & mentions of drug addiction
> 
> lastly, just to preference. nicole has a drug addiction and as i’ve never been in that position, i’m purely speaking from secondhand experience. so if any of you have struggled and realize that something i said or wrote wasn’t exactly correct, please let me know. i’m not trying to downplay any situations i’m just trying to use nicole’s thoughts from an addicts point of view.

When most people hear the word ‘healing’, they think of a physical scar on your skin. They think of a sickness that needs constant medical attention. They think of a broken ankle or maybe a sprained wrist. 

Most people don’t look at the word ‘healing’ and immediately think ‘pain’ instead. For Nicole, that was just the case. You can’t emotionally heal yourself from something without giving into the pain and misery that comes along with it. You can’t heal without feeling first and that was one thing Nicole was not good at; feelings. 

Oftentimes, when you go through a break up you’re either the one in pain or the one projecting the pain onto the other person. Although, it still hurts to hurt somebody and you’re never truly content with breaking up with someone unless the love and feelings were never there in the first place.

Nicole was almost positive that her ex girlfriend of five years, Shae, possibly didn’t love her as much as she said she did. She couldn’t, right? Because if you love someone that deeply, how could you possibly be okay with hurting them so much? It wasn’t like it was a one time thing, they’d broken up multiple times in the past. You’d think Nicole would be over it by now. After all, it’s been months since the actual break up. 

Maybe it doesn’t help that occasionally Shae would call her up to make sure she’s doing okay, coping in a healthy way. But Nicole has never been good at coping with anything in her life. Every hardship and battle that the universe has put her through, has only broken her heart more and more.

Confusion. Nicole was confused. She thought they were happy, that they were both doing good at working towards their goals so they could be together in the end. Happy. That’s too good to be true, though, and Nicole should’ve seen it coming.

The redhead has had her fair share of heartbreaks, on both ends of the breakup. She has hurt people, so she should understand what it’s like to not want to be with someone anymore, right? Wrong. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. One minute they were fine. The next, Shae was coming through the door of Nicole’s bedroom with regret written all over her face. She could barely get the words, “We aren’t working out”, out of her mouth before Nicole was storming out the door. 

Shae knew she wouldn’t handle it well, hence; the regret. According to her, there was no other option.

Five months later and Nicole is still attempting to heal from the invisible scars left on her heart. She didn’t get closure, never receiving an explanation. Even when Shae called, Nicole didn’t have the strength to ask her about the truth. Maybe she’ll never know. Maybe it’s better that way.

When people think of healing, Nicole is almost positive that they don’t picture themselves doing drugs or getting shit-faced drunk and passing out on a strangers couch at the end of the night. She’s almost positive that by healing, they don’t mean developing an addiction that she’s too broken to get rid of now. 

That was it, all Nicole is now; a vessel pumped with alcohol and opioids, among other stuff.

After the breakup, Nicole threw herself into school work during the day, parties at night. She didn’t mean to get hooked on anything. It was just a way of escaping the feelings running through her body, the thoughts racing through her mind and the constant replay of she and Shae’s conversation in her head. She couldn’t take it anymore. The pain. The sleepless nights spent staring at her ceiling. Anything would be better than counting the thumbtack holes on the wall made from previous tenants of her dorm room.

So, when she met a girl that was going through just as much pain as her, just as much emotional trauma, they clicked. Rosita and Nicole were practically inseparable. If you see Nicole, look to her right and you’ll see Rosita. They became fast friends and Nicole finally had someone to lean on. Someone that didn’t ask how she was feeling everyday. Someone that understood that sometimes silence was easier than words. Rosita never questioned Nicole about the breakup, about why it hurt so bad and most importantly, she never asked about Nicole’s past unless the redhead brought it up herself. 

Of course, being such close friends, Rosita knew more than most did about Nicole. She knew why she had to go and stay with her Aunt Margaret at the age of fifteen. She knew why Nicole would rather be any place other than her hometown. She knew enough to know that this girl is broken beyond repair, and she knew not to ask until Nicole came to her about it first. 

They were The University Of Calgary’s dynamic duo. The two leaders of the broken hearts club. 

In return, Nicole gave Rosita the same respect. She didn’t ask about any topic unless Rosita brought it up herself. They were both fine with it. It’s what made them, them. 

Of course, the bad habits that both of them shared could get them into tremendous amounts of trouble if a faculty member were to find out about it. Drugs on campus, any campus, was strictly prohibited. Obviously, that doesn’t mean that no one ever brings drugs into the dorm rooms. There’s been plenty of times where the two girls were too high or too wasted to be able to drive, let alone walk, to get more of their fix. Resulting in them finding someone that was stupid enough to bring it to Nicole’s dorm that late at night.

They never partied in Rosita’s dorm. Nicole felt safer in the confides of her own room. Like no one, anywhere, could touch her or pop the bubble that she surrounded herself in.

Cutting through her thoughts, the sound of her phone ringing somewhere in the room startled Nicole. She quickly jumped out of her chair, pulling the sheets and blankets off of her bed in search of the device. Once retrieved, she read the name on the screen, clicking the circular green button at the bottom.

“Hey, Aunt Marge.” 

“Hey, honey. I just called to see how you’re doing? How are classes going?”

Nicole rolled her eyes. She loves her Aunt, truthfully, but sometimes it’s a little too much. Not to mention, getting a phone call every week, having to answer the same questions over and over again, would be aggravating to Nicole no matter who it was. She knew her Aunt was doing it out of love. The older woman always referred to Nicole as her adoptive daughter.

At the age of four, Nicole’s mom left. The redhead barely remembers it, but remembers enough to feel resentment. Growing up without a mother isn’t easy. On top of only having one parent, she could place her bets on her Father being the worst parental figure in Calgary. He took care of her, yes. He ‘put food on the table and a roof over her head’ as he would never let Nicole forget that fact. But emotionally, he was probably the most closed off person anyone would encounter in their entire life.

It made Nicole run from any affection shown to her in the past. She struggled with relationships, communication wasn’t her best subject. It definitely didn’t help when her Father kicked her out at the age of fifteen just because of her sexuality. She’d never come to understand how a parent could raise a child for so long, before deciding that them loving the same sex is what finally draws the line.

So, Nicole reluctantly packed her belongings and moved in with her Aunt Margaret for what was supposed to be just the summer. After being with her Aunt for a few months, Nicole grew a different kind of bond with the woman. She couldn’t just move out. She’d stay.

Now, she finally knew what it was like to have the closest thing to a Mother she could get. After all of the years of resentment for her Mom leaving when she did, you’d think she’d be a little more grateful that she finally had someone who cared enough to ask about her day. As previously said, though. Nicole hated affection. 

She didn’t even let Rosita hug her.

“Classes are good, I’m doing fine.” She replied shortly. Nicole wouldn’t tell her that she’s close to failing most of her classes due to her hardly attending. Blissfully unaware.

“That’s good. I just worry about you sometimes, you know that.”

Nicole smiled slightly, regret filling her stomach. Sometimes she felt bad for lying to her Aunt. “Yeah, I know.”

At that moment, Rosita came bursting through the door. Nicole held up her hand before any words came out of Rosita’s mouth. They were as careful as they had to be to hide their after hour endeavors. 

Nicole listened as her Aunt went on to tell her about what’s happening at home. Something about Mercedes Gardener getting pregnant for the second time, the high school football teams still never ending loss against their rivals and a long tangent about Nicole’s cat, Calamity Jane. After agreeing with her Aunt about Nicole needing to come visit around winter break, she finally found an out and said goodbye before looking at Rosita, sighing.

“Margaret never seems to run out of things to talk about.” Rosita laughed as she spun around in Nicole’s office chair.

Nicole huffed, “You’re telling me.” 

Rosita put down the pen that she was twirling around her fingers, standing up and walking towards Nicole’s mirror. “What are you wearing to this party?” She leaned down and grabbed her bag, opening the zip-up pocket and pulling out a bag of weed and a White Owl packet.

Nicole shrugged, plopping down on her bed and grabbing her phone. “No clue.”

Parties weren’t a big thing for Nicole and Rosita anymore. Most of the time, they just showed up for the free booze. They had a few connections for good parties. On tonight’s agenda, was the infamous college basketball star, Xavier Dolls’, game winning party — assuming their team won.

The girls were never disappointed while attending one of Dolls’ parties. Plus, the bigger the party, the better. Most college kids hosting parties pride themselves on getting a noise complaint at some point in the night.

“Well, I think we should dress up cute. Take some Instagram-worthy pictures by the beach.” Rosita suggested as she stuck her tongue out to seal the blunt, grabbing a lighter and running it lightly across the side of it.

Nicole hummed an agreement as she scrolled through her school emails. A bunch of teachers telling her she didn’t show up to class, as if she didn’t already know.

“Are you crashing at the beach house or will you be finding a lucky companion tonight?” Nicole joked as she got up off of her bed and took the blunt from Rosita. Taking a hit, holding it and then exhaling the smoke along with the stress from her body.

Rosita shook her head, a mischievous smirk lighting up her features. Nicole raised her eyebrows in question.

“I may or may not have met a girl.” The redhead rolled her eyes. “Don’t react like that,” Rosita countered. “I really like her and she seems so different than anyone else I’ve met.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “There’s just something about her that gives me so much faith for the world around us.”

Nicole chuckled, handing the blunt back to Rosita. “Well, I’m sure she’s a real catch.” She joked.

The dark haired girl rolled her eyes, a playful smile on her lips. “Don’t be jealous, Haught.”

Nicole wasn’t jealous. She gave up on relationships. Deciding she’d never willingly put herself through that kind of pain again.

By the time the girls finished their smoke session, it was almost time to get ready. Nicole had one place she needed to stop before the party, though.


	2. Chapter Two: Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like fourteen chapters written already.
> 
> Also, thinking about going back and rewriting some of my old fics that i never finished. we’ll see. (:

Waverly jumped when the silence of her room was interrupted with a loud, obnoxious, pounding on her door. She sighed, knowing who it was before she even opened it.

“We are going to a party tonight.” Her best friend, Chrissy excitedly bounced into Waverly’s dorm room.

Realizing she wouldn’t be getting much homework done, Waverly closed the books on her desk and moved them into a neat pile.

“You mean,  you  are going to a party tonight.” Waverly corrected. She wasn’t much of a party person. “I have an essay to write.”

Chrissy sighed loudly, hanging her head as she walked further into Waverly’s dorm room. “How many essays have you written in your life? You can relax for at least one night, Waves.”

The shorter girl thought it over. She  was  stressed out a lot recently. Maybe she could use a break but parties really weren’t her thing. She’d rather lay in bed, cover herself in blankets and read a good book. 

“Can’t we just, I don’t know, go to the library or something? We can try that new kombucha place downtown.” She suggested, knowing her best friend probably wouldn’t buy it.

“No.” Chrissy grabbed Waverly’s hands, pulling her towards the door. The brunette grabbed her keys, phone and wallet on the way out. “We need to get you out more. Starting with a party outfit.”

—

It wasn’t that Waverly hated parties, it’s just that she  hated  parties. What was the point of getting so inebriated that you can’t even drive yourself home? It just doesn’t seem fun to her. She has watched her sister, Wynonna, stumble through her parents front door while trying her best to keep quiet too many times. The desire just wasn’t there.

After all, Waverly had a future to think about. She prided herself on her good grades and being her parents favorite child — even though they won’t admit it, the Earp sisters knew it was true.

Sometimes she was envious of Wynonna. Her sister was so carefree. She didn’t worry about tomorrow, she just does what makes her happy in the moment. Well, at least it seems that way. Wynonna didn’t open up to anyone, it made Waverly sad sometimes. She felt sympathetic for her sister; even though she, herself, wasn’t so great at opening up either.

The short brunette watched from across the clothing store as her sister and best friend held up articles of clothing to their bodies, laughing loudly and freely as they made jokes. Waverly smiled. She couldn’t be happier that the two people closest to her got along as well as they did. 

When Waverly was younger, there was three of them — Earp sisters, of course. — Willa, Wynonna and Waverly were Purgatory’s very own trio. They got along so well that their parents made jokes about having triplets instead of three individual daughters.

Willa was their Father’s favorite. Like any parent, neither him nor their Mother would admit it but Wynonna and Waverly knew. When Willa left, the atmosphere of the Earp homestead changed drastically. Their Father was much harder on Wynonna, thinking somehow it was her fault that Willa decided to run away. No one knew why and she didn’t leave anything explaining why. It was all a mystery when it came to their sister. Sometimes, Waverly thinks Wynonna does blame herself. After listening to their parents argue about it constantly, their Dad always bringing it back to the argument Wynonna and Willa got into the day before she left; Waverly wouldn’t blame her for blaming herself. 

Waverly thinks there was a build up. Their parents were always hard on all three of them and sometimes it did become too much to handle. After all, if you push on the glass hard enough, it’s liable to break eventually.

The youngest Earp was just glad to finally see her sister happy. When Chrissy came into Waverly’s life, it was purely by accident. Waverly didn’t usually run with the popular crowd in high school. Chrissy did, as did Wynonna. Two very different sides of the popular group, but nonetheless. Waverly met Chrissy in high school when she had to go pick Wynonna up from a party at her current college dorms. The blonde was practically nursing her sister back to life on the front steps of the auditorium. From there, they’ve been friends ever since.

Now, Waverly was sifting through racks of clothing that she couldn’t see herself wearing even in her wildest dreams. Everything in her life was going as good as she could possibly imagine. She was right on track, right where she needed to be.

“Waves, what do you think about this?” Chrissy held up a cheetah print tank top that looked closer to lingerie than anything publicly appropriate.

Waverly cringed, “Absolutely not.”

Wynonna stuck her bottom lip out, pouting dramatically. Waverly had half a nerve to chuckle before Chrissy came back with an arm full of clothes.

“Any of these look appealing?” The brunette watched as her friend sorted through the outfits, stopping on a black and white crop top with a matching mini skirt. Chrissy smiled when she recognized the look on Waverly’s face. “Ladies and theybies, we’ve got ourselves a winner.”

Wynonna made an excited squealing noise as she grabbed a pair of black, knee high boots to match. After a stop at one of the local coffee shops, the three girls were finally on their way home. 

They walked arm in arm, chatting about anything that could come to mind. This is usually how a girls day went with them. Wynonna would tell them about her most recent hook up, Chrissy would convince Wynonna to join the cheerleading team with her and Waverly, all of it would end in the two of them bickering and Waverly trying to hold in her tears as she laughed. 

“Sooo,” Wynonna trailed on, releasing her grasp on Waverly’s arm. “How’re you and Champ?” 

If Waverly was naive, she’d blame the butterflies in the pit of her stomach on the fact that she’s been drinking coffee without eating all day. She wasn’t naive but she wasn’t a good liar either.

“We’re good.” She replied shortly, in hopes that Wynonna wouldn’t ask any questions.

“You sure?”

Waverly nodded slowly. “Yeah, we’re uh- we’re fine.” She stuttered. “Couldn’t be better.”

Wynonna quirked an eyebrow but still remained silent. She never stuck her nose in places where it didn’t belong, even if she was worried about her little sister.

It wasn’t that Waverly and Champ weren’t  good,  but they definitely weren’t great. She did her best to keep her relationship problems with Champ private. If Wynonna and Chrissy knew what happened behind closed doors, they wouldn’t be a fan of Waverly going anywhere near the man. He’s been the same since high school, Waverly was used to it by now. Everyone in her life knowing about the bruises covered in makeup and the week long, endless arguments about why Waverly won’t have sex with him would only create more drama that she didn’t need to deal with.

The feeling of hot coffee pouring all over her hand and the slight shove of a body against her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts.

“I’m so sorry, oh my God.” A redheaded stranger braced Waverly before she could lose her balance. She looked up into deep brown eyes and recognized something familiar; pain?

Waverly furrowed her eyebrows as the stranger continued to talk.

“Are you okay?” Her voice was soft but sounded almost strained. Broken.

The shorter girl was at a loss for words, suddenly unable to make a coherent sentence. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before finally deciding to give up and nod her head instead.

“I, uh, I can buy you another coffee, if you want?”

Waverly shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I was finished with it, anyway.”

“Oh. Um, okay, then.” She smiled genuinely. “I’m sorry again.”

“It’s really okay.” Waverly smiled back.

Both girls paused, an awkward silence filling the air. Wynonna whistled, breaking through both of their thoughts.

Waverly turned her head, her sister gave her a look subtly telling her to wrap it up. She turned back to the redhead, “Have a nice day. Try not to run into anymore strangers.”

Turning around on her heels and heading back towards her sister and best friend, Waverly couldn’t get those eyes out of her head. There was something so familiar about the story they told. Waverly was curious.

“Talk about chemistry class.” Wynonna choked out.

Waverly rolled her eyes, shoving her sisters shoulder lightly. “Whatever.”


	3. Chapter Three: I suppose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: drugs and alcohol. thoughts of death?

It was almost like a routine by now. She did it so much, it was hardly questionable. Half of her friends could never tell that before Nicole met up with them, she was in her car snorting thin lines of coke with her best friend. Dipping the tip of a cigarette in the powder before lighting it, a numbing sensation filling her mouth and throat. Licking her fingers clean before sealing the baggy shut with a lighter.

It was a routine and she didn’t have to think too much into it anymore.

When Nicole first started her ‘partying phase’, as her and Rosita would call it, she was skeptical. She wouldn’t try certain drugs depending on where she was going or who she was with. Hell, she wouldn’t even smoke a blunt and drive home afterwards in fear that she might actually wreck her car.

All of that seems to have flown out the window a long time ago.

There came a point where Nicole stopped caring. The thought of death no longer put fear into her, but maybe excitement? Curiosity? There has to be  something  after death. It couldn’t be worse than what Nicole has had to live through so far. Why did it ever scare her before?

Maybe she’d be afraid to die if she had more people in her life that she knows would miss her. All she has is Rosita and maybe her friend, Dolls. Like all deaths, they’d get over it eventually. Maybe it’s selfish for her to think like that but after giving all of herself to everyone else her entire life, Nicole could afford to be a little selfish for once. Maybe it was the drugs and alcohol running through her system that was making her feel this way. Although, she’s never known anything more than darkness. These feelings aren’t brand new.

Nicole tossed the plastic ping pong ball across the table, missing the last cup for the second time. People around her booed in a playful manor.

“You suck, Haught.” Dolls called out from across the table.

“Aren’t we supposed to have partners in this game? I don’t think I have a fair chance.”

“Because you don’t have a partner or because you suck?”

Nicole scoffed. “Whatever, Mr. Big Basketball Star.”

“All I hear is excuses coming out of that pretty little mouth of yours.” He joked.

Nicole watched as Dolls tossed his ball through the air, sinking it in the cup effortlessly. Nicole groaned, chugging some of her beer. She was grateful for the excuse to drink, honestly.

The hooting and hollering got louder from across the room, catching everyone’s attention. Nicole looked towards the door, whistling from other students filling her ears. She squinted her eyes in an attempt to steady her blurry vision. The figure of a familiar body finally came into view, finally understanding why everyone got so excited.

Wynonna Earp has entered the house. The party was just getting started.

“Who’s the new chick?” Dolls questioned.

Nicole followed his eyes. To the left of Wynonna was a shorter girl. They almost looked alike except for a few noticeable features. She was definitely an Earp, no doubt about it. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember why the girl looked so familiar. Nicole and Rosita knew almost everyone that attended these kinds of parties and  that was not a face she recognized. She watched as Chrissy Nedley took the girls hand and pulled her towards the kitchen. The brunette smiled and that’s when it finally clicked. 

Coffee girl.

Nicole looked down at her drink. “I need a refill.”

Dolls looked confused. “No you don’t, it’s full.”

The redhead shrugged him off before pushing her way through the crowd, following in the mystery girls footsteps. Once in the kitchen, she downed the rest of her drink and tossed it into the recycling. She headed towards the island in the middle of the kitchen, spotting the brunette before approaching. They made eye contact and Nicole smiled softly.

“Two times in one day,” Nicole started. “Must be fate.”

The shorter girl chuckled, leaning up against the counter. “Oh, yeah? Seems less like fate and more like you’re stalking me. I made that good of a first impression, huh?”

Nicole laughed. She turned towards the liquor counter, pouring some vodka and orange juice in a cup. She’d give it to Dolls, his parents had expensive taste in alcohol. She grabbed a bottle of beer and turned around.

“Would you like a drink? It’s the least I could do after spilling yours all over you earlier.” Nicole offered her the unopened beer.

“It’s not coffee but I suppose I can accept.” The brunette giggled and Nicole swore it was the most angelic sound she’s ever heard in her life.

“I’m Nicole.” She smiled, sticking out her hand.

Accepting the introduction, the girl spoke. “Waverly.”

“Waverly.” Nicole repeated, reveling in the way the name felt on her tongue. “You up for a game?”

Waverly smiled sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders. “Not really a fan of games.”

“Then why are you at an after party for the basketball team?”

“I didn’t necessarily have a choice. Chrissy is.. Persistent, to say the least.” 

Nicole nodded in understanding. Believe it or not, she didn’t always love parties as much as she did now. It was more of an escape than a fun night out for her.

“Okay, well,” Nicole rounded the island, sliding up next to Waverly and leaning back against it. “What if I told you I’ll be your partner?”

She couldn’t be sure, but Nicole thought she saw something flash through Waverly’s eyes. Was this girl actually interested in her? Why did this feel different than her usual party hook-ups?

Waverly smiled, “Does this game have a name or are you just making it up?”

“Beer pong.” Nicole placed her hand on the back of Waverly’s shoulder, giving her a gentle nudge towards the exit of the kitchen. Once in the living room, she pointed to the table where Dolls was re-racking the cups. “The point of the game is simple. You throw the ball. If the ball goes in, your opponent drinks and vice versa.”

She watched as a worried look crossed Waverly’s face.

“Hey, you’ll be fine.” She reassured. “Plus, you have me as a partner and I don’t suck so much.”

Nicole heard Dolls snort as they approached the table. “Yeah, right. You literally just lost.”

“I wasn’t even trying!” Nicole scoffed as Waverly laughed.

“You came with Wynonna, right?” Dolls asked the shorter girl. “Nicole didn’t give anyone else a chance, huh?”

The redhead rolled her eyes. “Shut up and grab a partner.”

They went through the game, Nicole explaining to Waverly her best tips and tactics to beat Dolls and another player from the team, Perry. Waverly did relatively good for her first time playing, Nicole was proud. She solely believed it had nothing to do with her coaching at all.

Waverly screamed excitedly, throwing her hands up in the air and bouncing up and down on her toes. She won the game and Nicole couldn’t wipe the smirk off of her face at the sight of Dolls looking so defeated.

A few rounds went by, Dolls always being a sore loser at the end of each game. For once, Nicole wasn’t thinking about how many shots she could handle or where Rosita was with the weed. She wasn’t worried at all. In fact, this was probably the most stress free she’s felt in a while.

Waverly must’ve noticed Nicole’s mind wandering because she took the redheads hand in hers, sporting a worried look on her face. “You okay?”

Nicole nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else? We don’t have to keep playing?”

Looking around, Nicole noticed that no one was really paying attention to them. It seemed like they were in their own little world.

“Yeah, come on.”

Nicole dragged her through the crowd, towards the stairs when Waverly suddenly stopped. Nicole looked back, confused.

“It’s just, uh,” Waverly stammered, unsure of how to start the sentence that was soon to come out of her mouth. “I kind of have..”

Nicole quirked an eyebrow, amused.

“I have a boyfriend.” The brunette forced out. “I mean, like, he’s my boyfriend— we’re dating?”

“Are you sure?”

“Unfortunately, yeah. I mean, he’s an ass but I still have an obligation to him or whatever.”

Nicole would be lying if she said she wasn’t a tiny bit hurt by hearing those words. No one has an obligation to anyone. No matter what status they hold in your life, your choices should be made for you and only you. No one else.

“Well,” She started, smiling playfully before biting her bottom lip. “While I’m honored that you think that’s where this was leading, I regret to inform you that’s not the case.”

Waverly gave her a confused look, cocking her head to one side — almost like a puppy, Nicole noted.

“I just want to show you something, promise.” She raised her eyebrows. “Besides, if you ever feel uncomfortable around me, I won’t ever get mad at you for wanting to back out and leave.”

After a few seconds of what Nicole assumed was Waverly contemplating her choices in her head, she finally spoke up.

“Lead the way then, mystery woman.”

Nicole chuckled as she resumed her earlier position, taking Waverly’s hand in her own and continuing up the stairs. She led them to a door at the end of the hallway, opening it and heading up another flight of stairs. Reaching the top, another door, Nicole opened it and stepped through. The cold air smacked her in the face, it felt relieving compared to the musty atmosphere of downstairs.

“What is this place?” Waverly asked, stepping out behind Nicole.

The redhead looked around. She’d been up on this roof hundreds of times before. It almost felt like home at this point.

“One of my many escapes from reality.” She let out. 

Of course, telling a girl that you’re addicted to seven different drugs upon first meeting her wasn’t usually first impression material. Nicole kept it to herself mostly but she couldn’t help but joke, even if Waverly didn’t quite understand.

“You come up here a lot?” Waverly asked, genuinely curious. It was like she actually wanted to know Nicole. It felt different.

“I come up here whenever the party becomes too much. So, yeah. Quite a bit.”

Waverly chuckled, walking around the rooftop taking it all in. Nicole looked around, too. She came up here so often that it seemed almost normal to her. She never really took in the beauty of all of it until now.

There were little fairy lights hanging from above, strung from one side of the building to another. In the right corner, there was a garden. Nicole knew that Dolls wasn’t the one that took care of it, but he had enough respect for his parents to not let people trampled all over the plants and throw trash in the dirt. There were a few chairs spread out here and there, and the view? Well, aside from the pretty brunette standing near the edge looking down at the people on the ground. The view of the water and midnight sky was something so beautiful. Nicole loved it up here. 

She walked over to Waverly, leaning over the edge as the brunette did just moments before. There were crowds of people on the deck down below, loud noises that couldn’t be pinpointed to one person.

“They’re so oblivious.” Waverly muttered. 

“What’s that?”

Quiet.

“They’re so oblivious.” She repeated. “I mean, do they seriously think this is all there is to life? Getting drunk and having fun?”

Nicole shrugged. “Isn’t it? Life’s about what you make it, right? Why not spend that life having fun?”

“When you put it like that, I guess you have a point. Why waste your time partying though? Why not go out and make different kinds of memories?”

Waverly was right and Nicole knew it. She wouldn’t ever admit that sometimes going to parties and doing drugs did become a bit.. overwhelming. Waverly definitely didn’t seem like the type of person to be at a different party every weekend, repeating the last.

“Tell me, Waverly.” Nicole took a sip of her drink, grimacing as the taste of vodka overpowered the orange juice. “What would you rather be doing right now?”

“Studying.”

Nicole snorted. “You’re serious? Come on, think about it.”

After a few seconds of silence, Waverly spoke up. “I’d rather be in the middle of nowhere, hiking through the woods. No cell service, no social media, no drama. Just me and nature, free.”

The redhead smiled. All of that did sound more appealing than partying at a beach house she’s been to half a dozen times. Nicole didn’t go on vacations, especially not now that she was in college. Not that she attended half of her classes anyway but it did give her an excuse to not go. To tell the truth, she was dreading making up an excuse to tell her Aunt about why she wouldn’t be coming home for winter break.

It wasn’t that Nicole didn’t want to see her Aunt. She loved being home, or at least, she did before. Before Shae broke her heart, before she stopped caring about her own well-being, before she made the stupid decision to get into things she couldn’t stop. The thing was, Nicole knew it was stupid. She couldn’t go home because she knew how hard it would be to hide all of that from her Aunt. But she didn’t want to stop. She was content with her life the way it is now. 

“Where’s your mind off to?”

Nicole looked into Waverly’s eyes. Something inside her almost wanted to tell the truth, finally tell someone other than Rosita what was going on in her head.

“We should head back downstairs. Your sister might be looking for you.” She quickly dismissed the question.

By the time they got back downstairs, Nicole was in desperate need of a drink. She was getting ready to ask if Waverly wanted anything when a familiar blonde cut her off.

“Waves!”

“Waves?” Nicole smirked.

Waverly shrugged. “Don’t ask.” She turned to her friend with worried eyes. “You okay, Chrissy?”

“Are you ready to go?” She slurred, grabbing onto Waverly’s arm much like a child would with their mother. 

“Yeah, we can go.”

“Are you you okay to drive?”

Chrissy gave Nicole a confused look while glancing back and forth between her and Waverly.

The short brunette pulled out her phone, waving it in the air. “Uber.” She smiled sarcastically.

Nicole chuckled. “I’ll catch you later?”

Waverly nodded.

“Or you know, you could just get her number.” Chrissy chimed in, giving her best attempt at a whisper.

“Right.” Nicole smiled, never breaking eye contact with the brunette. “So?”

“I suppose you can text me.”


	4. Chapter Four: Mountains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I post a chapter I forget to add notes.
> 
> Anyway, I don’t know much about Calgary seeing as i’m from the US. Landscape and all that is not my forte so i’m just making shit up out of my ass at this point.
> 
> Leave some feedback (:
> 
> T/W: there’s some dialogue about pills at the end but there’s no details. still not sure what i should and shouldn’t flag as a warning but just to be safe, i’m adding this.

If Hell was an actual place on Earth, Waverly would be sure she was living in it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t concentrate on studying for the life of her. Champ’s obnoxiously loud voice echoing across the room was enough to distract her — he was never quiet when it came to playing video games. Waverly despised it. 

If she wanted to admit it — which she did not,— then maybe she’d realize that her insistent worry about why Nicole still hasn’t texted her was possibly the reason that was keeping her away from her studies.

Seriously, she couldn’t stop thinking about the redheaded stranger she met on the street that morning. Then, coincidentally she’s at the same party that Waverly would have never found herself at any other day of the year. 

Maybe Nicole was right. Maybe, it was fate. 

Waverly didn’t believe in fate too much. Sure, maybe in some universe, everything happens for a reason. She could understand the logic behind the butterfly effect; but what could Waverly possibly have to offer Nicole?

She leaned back in her chair and sighed when Champ yelled at the television,  once again.

Going to class right now would be more preferable than staying here and listening to a grown man get upset over a video game.

Finally deciding to give up with this environment and move to a different one, she folded up her books and grabbed her jacket. Turning to look at Champ, she grabbed her phone, keys and wallet and shoved them in her pockets.

“I’m going to the library.” She stated loudly, making sure he could hear her.

Champ paused his game. “For how long?”

Waverly shrugged. “As long as it takes toretain enough knowledge to pass Monday’s exam.”

“You know, using big words doesn’t make you sound any smarter.”

She rolled her eyes, turning around and grabbing a few more things. Her phone vibrated in her back pocket. Pulling it out, she smiled at the unknown number texting her.

‘ _Are you busy?_ ’

“Who is that?” Champ asked from his chair, noticing her reaction.

“Wynonna.” She didn’t need to lie, necessarily. Telling Champ things was pointless, though. Information went in one ear and out the other. Waverly hardly ever told him exactly what she was doing anymore.

“What’s she up to?” He snorted. “Downing another bottle?”

Tired of talking to the one person she was supposed to want to be around, she texted Nicole back.

_ ‘Not necessarily.’ _

—

The air outside of The University was chilly but warm enough that Nicole could be comfortable in short sleeves. A perfect day to be outside with nature.

She was currently leaning against her car outside of Waverly’s dorm, waiting. After the party, Nicole just wanted to do something with her. The thought of just being in Waverly’s presence was enticing. It took her a day or so to think of an idea but eventually, she was a text away from being able to see the youngest Earp again and she was nothing short of excited.

Nicole didn’t develop crushes. At least, not anymore. After Shae, she vowed to never date again. Most people do it as a joke but Nicole was ‘cross my heart and hope to die’ serious. Her feelings — or whatever they were — for Waverly felt so foreign. She hasn’t felt anything like this in a long time and if she thought too much into it, she’d be scared. So instead, she pushed all of that to the back of her mind. Reminding herself that Waverly has a boyfriend and as far as Nicole knew, she wasn’t anywhere near gay.

At the end of the day, Nicole was getting damn good at hiding parts of herself from the people closest to her. This was just another notch in the bedpost.

Waverly chose that moment to come bouncing out of the glass door, a happy smile on her face as she spotted Nicole. The redhead smiled back, shoving her hands in her back pockets and taking a few steps forward.

“Good evening, Miss Earp.” She feigned her best English accent. “I shall be your entourage for the day.”

“Well, Miss Haught. Entourage implies that there will be more than one of you. Should I be expecting a twin?”

Nicole laughed. “Fortunately for planet Earth, there is only one of me.”

“Shame.” Waverly joked. “Double the fun.”

Nicole opened the passenger side door, letting Waverly climb inside before closing it and rounding the car to her side. Once they were both settled in, Nicole put the car in drive and pulled out of her parking spot.

“This is a nice car.” Waverly ran her fingers across the leather interior.

“Thank you.” Nicole smiled.

“Tell me, Chauffeur Haught. How does a college student afford a very decked out muscle car?” She asked, referring to the 1996 Dodge Challenger she was currently making herself at home in.

“It’s kind of a long story.” Nicole grimaced.

Waverly’s eyes went wide. “Please tell me you didn’t steal it.”

The redhead chuckled, flipping on her turn signal before coming to a red light. “The car is perfectly legal, I assure you.”

Waverly eyed her suspiciously. “You’re very mysterious, you know that?” She paused as Nicole laughed. “I’m serious. You just have this..  Thing .”

“As much as I love to talk about myself — because I do, trust me. I’m a regular Saint Augustine. — I’d much rather hear about your day. Are you doing okay?” The light turned green and Nicole turned left cautiously. It was different driving sober after being fucked up for so long.

“My day would sound quite boring to a philosopher.” Deciding to go along with Nicole’s memoir joke. “I just studied for most of the day. I was actually about to go to the library before you texted me.”

Nicole couldn’t help but notice Waverly’s tone and body language change drastically with the answers she gave. “Why the library? You don’t study in the comfort of your own room?”

Waverly shrugged. “Not when it’s filled with a walking clump of testosterone, no. It’s never quiet when Champ is there.”

“Champ is your boyfriend?”

“If that’s what you want to call him. Yeah, sure.”

Nicole wouldn’t remind her that, in fact, that’s what Waverly herself called Champ the night of the party when she thought Nicole was trying to run a play on her. 

Instead, she asked Waverly what her favorite genre of music is and handed her the AUX cord.

After driving about thirty minutes out of the city, blasting music and singing at the top of their lungs. They were finally to their destination. Nicole was saddened to have to stop watching Waverly do little dances in the passenger seat when she got excited over a song. It was cute.

Pulling the car into an empty parking lot — it was nearing fall, not many people were out and about anymore — she found a parking space and put the car in park.

Waverly looked around, furrowing her eyebrows. “You’re not going to murder me, right?”

“I think that would leave me with one very pissed off Wynonna. I’d rather not.” Nicole chuckled.

Wynonna wasn’t Nicole’s biggest fan. She was surprised, to say the least. If Waverly mentioned the redhead to her sister, surely Wynonna would have told her about Nicole. She didn’t know much but it was enough that Waverly would possibly stop being her friend — or whatever they were — if she did find out.

Nicole grabbed a hoodie from the backseat and handed it to Waverly. “I know you have a jacket but once it starts getting late, it’s going to get colder. Better safe than sorry.”

The brunette accepted it gratefully, pulling it over her head as she stepped out of the car. She shoved her hands in her front pockets and waited for Nicole.

“So, what are we doing here?”

“Can I see your phone?”

Waverly flinched. The only time that question was ever presented to her, was if Champ was feeling too insecure that day and somehow needed reassurance from going through her messages. Not that he’d ever find anything, it was just annoying. 

Confused, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and handed it to Nicole. The taller woman opened her glovebox from the passenger side and stuck Waverly’s and her own phone inside before grabbing her keys from the ignition and locking the doors. 

“This,” Nicole started down a path leading to the woods. “Is an escape from the world. No cell service— Well, because you don’t have your phone — No social media, no homework and most of all, no annoying clumps of testosterone interrupting your peace. You, Waverly Earp, are free for one evening.”

Waverly smiled and Nicole could tell that this girl was gushing over the fact that the redhead even remembered something so simple.

“I know it’s not the forest but we are in the woods and even though it’s fall, it’s still nature, right?”

“This is amazing, Nicole.”

“Now, you get one free piggyback ride throughout this entire trip. It’s not expert level hiking but in some places it does get a little rough.”

“Does that include there and back? Because I’m thinking it’s not fair to only have  one  free ride.”

Nicole pretended as if she was thinking over what Waverly had said. “Hmm. I think it’s fair.”

They started off down the trail. Nicole wasn’t lying when she said a few places were a little more rough than others but Waverly was a cheerleader and she did keep up with her daily stretches. 

It was hardly anything for her to hike a mountain. 

They walked for a while. Every ten minutes, Nicole would stop and point out a pretty flower or the odd shape of a tree. At one point, she even tried climbing one. She got halfway up and decided if she went any further, she wouldn’t be coming back down.

After a good forty-five minute hike on the trail, Nicole grabbed Waverly’s hand and pulled her to the right. It didn’t look like anyone had been this way before. There wasn’t a noticeable path to follow anymore but Nicole knew the shorter woman trusted her enough to not ask questions. Walking about five more minutes, they finally came to a clearing. It was a field of what Nicole knew to be daisies but it was too cold now for them to bloom. At the end of the field was a fallen down tree resembling a bench.

“Miss Earp, we have arrived at our destination.” An English accent in full play once again.

Nicole watched as Waverly walked through the field. The sun was close to setting. Winter was getting closer and closer as the days got shorter. It got dark way earlier in the winter than the summer. Nicole would miss being outside for hours into the night with Rosita and Dolls.

“You can see the entire city from here.” Waverly gasped as she sat down on the log.

Nicole joined her, looking out over the city. Everything looked so small from way up here.

“Do you come here a lot, too? You know, to escape reality?” Waverly joked.

Nicole chuckled, putting her head down and pausing for a second. “When things out there become too much,” She looked up, nodding to the city. “It’s easier to look down on them instead of facing them head on.”

“Yeah,” Waverly paused. “I get it. It’s good to take a break sometimes.”

If only you knew,  Nicole thought to herself.

It was weird being around someone and being so content with it. She didn’t need drugs to feel alive when she was with Waverly. Hell, she wouldn’t even think of them if she wasn’t so worried about accidentally revealing it. 

“I think right now, more than anything, I really needed this.” Waverly sounded so genuine when she said the words, “Thank you, Nicole.”

“Well, any time you need a moment away; I’ll be here.”

They were both quiet for a long time, just taking in everything around them. The sky was a bright orange with a hint of blue in the background. Birds were flying about, heading to a warmer climate for the night. They’d be migrating soon as it only got colder day by day.

Nicole was glad she brought a hoodie. When you’re hiking up a mountain, you do break a sweat. After being settled on this log for so long, she was starting to get cold as her body temperature regulated.

“You know, sometimes I wish I didn’t go to college.” Waverly spoke, breaking the silence. “It’s just, sometimes it’s so stressful. Parents don’t care, they just want to see their kids do good.”

“Are you close with your parents?”

Waverly shrugged. “We’re not best friends but they’ve given me everything I’ve needed in life so far. Sometimes I think they just pressure Wynonna and I too much; especially her.”

“She doesn’t have a good relationship with them?”

“Eh,” She started. “When I was really young my oldest sister ran away from home. Wynonna and Willa got into an argument the day before about something stupid. Still to this day, Wynonna won’t even tell me what it is. She just keeps assuring me that Willa running away wasn’t her fault, even if she blamed herself more than anyone else.” Waverly paused, looking at Nicole. “Sometimes I think she’s lying. I mean, if it was such an unimportant argument then what would drive Willa to not want to live with us anymore?”

Nicole leaned her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together. “Maybe Wynonna did something? Ooh! Like maybe, Willa had a secret boyfriend no one knew about and Wynonna killed him.”

Waverly laughed. “I don’t think Wynonna is a murderer. More like a home wrecker if anything.”

After all, her sister had a reputation. 

“I don’t know. Ever since then, my parents have always blamed Wynonna for my sister leaving.”

“Have you spoke to Willa?” Nicole asked.

The brunette shook her head. “No. None of us have as far as I know.”

“I’m really sorry, Waverly. I know what it’s like to lose a family member in that way.”

“Don’t tell me you have a runaway sister, too?” Waverly joked.

Nicole laughed, “No, just a runaway Mother.”

Waverly looked like she immediately regret her previous sentence. “I’m sorry. That’s horrible.”

“It’s all good. It was too long ago to still dwell on. I’m over it now.”

“Okay.” Waverly said sympathetically. “But whenever you decide that you’re not over it, I’ll be here if you need someone to vent to.”

“The same goes for you.” Nicole added. “I know something’s been going through that pretty little head of yours since I picked you up. Care to share?”

Waverly sighed. “Say you were presented with two worlds; completely different. In one world, you have this perfect life with the most popular boyfriend in the entire universe.” She laughed when Nicole grimaced at the world ‘boyfriend’. “The other world, you have this amazing life, doing a job you’ve always wanted to do. But there’s still something tremendously wrong with both of them. Which do you choose?”

Nicole shrugged. “What’s wrong with them? Why can’t you just have both?”

“Well, Champ wants me to marry him.”

And if Nicole was taking a drink, she would’ve choked.

“But I know the only reason he wants me to do that is because he thinks that’ll make me finally have sex with him.”

“You haven’t?” Nicole was shocked, to say the least. Most college students nowadays didn’t care much about sex meaning anything. It was just another thing to do on a Friday night.

Waverly shook her head. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I do. Just not with him. I know it doesn’t matter to him like it does with me and he gets it from every other girl he meets, why does he need it from me?”

“Wait,” Nicole cut her off. “You’re saying he cheats on you?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Waverly, yes it is.” Nicole emphasized. “Why stay with him if he treats you like crap?”

“I’m the head cheerleader of  his team. Kind of breaks all of societies rules to break up with him. Plus, I’ve been with him since high school.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Nicole corrected her. “First of all, fuck society. There is no excuse whatsoever to try to take something away from someone just because society doesn’t agree with it. If you don’t want to be with him, you don’t have to be. How could it possibly hurt you anymore than staying with him?”

Waverly smiled slightly, it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “If I marry Champ, I would have everything that all of these other girls want. A working husband that will take care of me while I stay home with the kids.” She explained. “Champ doesn’t want a wife that works. Most of these girls are perfectly happy not having to do anything but cook and clean for the rest of their life but, I can’t do that.”

“What are you in school for?”

“I want to become a doctor.”

Nicole smirked. “Dr. Earp. It has a nice ring to it. If I ever need an underground surgeon after my latest bank robbery, you might come in handy.”

Waverly’s eyes went wide, a shocked expression taking over her features.

“I’m kidding!” The redhead laughed. “My God, you’re so gullible. Seriously, though. If you have this amazing future ahead of you, why throw it away for one guy? There are plenty of people out there that would love to have someone like you in their life. Don’t settle for less just because you feel like society is forcing you to.”

“You know, for such a badass; you have a mushy side to you.” Waverly scrunched her face, laughing.

“Whatever.” Nicole chuckled. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride home.”

“As if I have a choice.” Waverly joked.

The car ride back to the city wasn’t nearly as energetic as the one there. The hike back down the mountain took a toll on both of the women. Nicole could tell Waverly would more than likely crash when she got home. She definitely wasn’t going to get much studying done, that’s for sure.

Occupying the same parking space as she did at the beginning of this trip, Nicole put the car into park and turned to Waverly.

“I can walk you to your room if you want.”

Waverly shook her head. “It’s okay. Champ is probably there and I don’t really want you to have to deal with him.”

“Trust me, I can take him.” Nicole chuckled.

“I don’t doubt that for a second.” Waverly laughed. “Goodnight, Nicole.”

With that, the brunette got out of the car. Nicole watched as she safely entered the building, still wearing the black hoodie she gave to her before.

“What the hell am I doing?” Nicole sighed as she leaned back in her seat, rubbing her eyes before throwing the car in drive.

—

When Nicole felt like her head was too full. If she was thinking too much about one particular thing or too many things at once. She would go for a drive. It didn’t matter where she was going. Most of the time, she didn’t even have a destination in mind. She’d just somehow find herself back at her dorm by the end of the night. On a normal day, music would be blasting through the speakers as Nicole sped down backroads, smoking a blunt. Today was definitely anything but normal.

Meeting Waverly was purely by accident but yet, somehow, it didn’t feel that way. Nicole barely ever had a hard time getting anyone out of her head. She wasn’t a feelings type of person, even when she was with Shae or in other relationships. 

Affection wasn’t her best subject, to say the least.

So, when she thought of Waverly and all of these weird feelings start happening in the pit of her stomach? Well, her first instinct was to run as far away as possible. For some reason, Nicole didn’t want to follow that instinct. She liked being around Waverly. Even if she did get weird and mushy. It was like she was in an entirely different world when it came to the brunette.

When Nicole starting thinking too much; she would think of the worst scenario possible. Most of the time, those scenario’s came to be real life. Taking a long drive and not having to think about anything was more preferable than ruining her future with Waverly. Whatever future they did have. Not that Nicole was looking for a future but she did like having the brunette in her life so far.

After driving for what felt like forever, she finally made it home. Grabbing her essentials, she stepped out of her car and into the cold. She headed towards the building. By the time she got to her room, Rosita was already there.

Her best friend was snuggled under the covers on Nicole’s bed, watching something on Netflix and munching on a bag of chips.

Rosita looked over at the sound of the door closing, her jaw dropped dramatically. “Where have you been?”

Nicole smiled. “Out and about. Have you been here long?”

The dark haired woman shook her head. “Nah, maybe like an hour. How long have you been gone?”

“You’re starting to sound like my girlfriend.” Nicole joked.

“Please.” Rosita laughed, sitting up in bed. “I’d be a better girlfriend than any of these girls out there. Unfortunately for you, though. I’m accounted for.”

Nicole quirked an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? Who?”

Most of Rosita’s ‘girlfriends’ lasted for about a week. Then, she’d come bursting through Nicole’s door talking about how she’ll never get over them and  blah blah.  Nicole loved her best friend, but sometimes she was over dramatic.

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.” Rosita narrowed her eyes. “Unless, you’re going to?”

Nicole smirked. “Nope, but I have something for you.” She pulled a sandwich bag full of pills out of her pocket and tossed it across the room.

The woman smiled widely. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re deflecting but it can wait until later, I suppose.”

Sure, Nicole didn’t need drugs when she was around Waverly. Right now, she wasn’t with the brunette. If she could spend the rest of her life in her presence, she would. That was unattainable though. 

Drugs, however; were not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on twitter
> 
> @aashjane


	5. Chapter Five: Two Worlds Collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: graphic depictions of drug use and violence (domestic and other)
> 
> There’s always a lot of foreshadowing in my chapters so please just remember that lmaooo 
> 
> This chapter was hard to write but it only gets harder from here.

Finally, the day has come that Waverly doesn’t have to worry about studying for an exam all week. She passed Monday’s Physics exam with flying colors and was now relaxing in the student lounge with Wynonna and Chrissy.

Well, she and Wynonna were playing ping pong while Chrissy laid sideways in an armchair, reading a magazine. Wynonna and the blonde were bickering back and forth like always. Waverly smacked the ball hard, whipping it past Wynonna’s head causing the two women to stop.

“What the hell was that?”

“Can’t you guys ever actually get along?”

“This  _is_ us getting along.” Wynonna exclaimed, sticking both arms out.

“Funny way of showing you care about each other.”

“Not everyone is bright and sunny with everyone else all the time, Waves.” Chrissy chimed in, setting the magazine down. “It attracts the wrong crowd.”

Waverly rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Are you ready?” She asked Wynonna, motioning to the ball in her sisters hand.

They hit the ball back and forth a few times in silence before the bickering started again. Waverly groaned, dropping her head back causing her to miss Wynonna’s hit. This was infuriating.

“What’s going on with you and Nicole, anyway? I saw you with her at the party coming from upstairs.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

Wynonna fumed. “Let me find ou-“

“We are  _just_ friends.” Waverly cut her sister off before she could make an actual threat. “Why does everyone seem to forget that I have a boyfriend?”

“We don’t forget. We would just rather not acknowledge it. Really kills the mood.” Wynonna smiled sarcastically. “So, you and Nicole are friends now? You hangout?”

“We went hiking a couple days ago. That’s it.” Waverly shrugged. “I think she’s fun to be around.”

In all honesty, it wasn’t just that she was fun to be around. Waverly not only felt bad for the redhead but she definitely felt  something . 

Waverly wasn’t gay. At least, she didn’t think she was. Up until this point, she’d never even thought of women in that way. Sure, they were attractive in a, ‘ _I really want to be you_ ’, sort of way. She definitely never felt anything like this towards any of her other friends.

Chrissy is bisexual and it didn’t drive Waverly to be with her in a way that’s anymore than friends. So, what was it about Nicole?

The brunette wasn’t sure that she even wanted to be with a woman, let alone anyone at this point. Champ was exhausting at times. She had to find an excuse not to have sex with the man almost every other day.

Plus when Chrissy dated girls, they didn’t even date. They just had sex for a few days and then it was done. Were all girls that like girls like this?

Waverly was sure dating a woman couldn’t be any better than dating Champ if that’s how it was.

_Why am I even thinking about dating a woman? I have a boyfriend_.  She questioned herself.

She’d have to do research about this later. Maybe stop at the library and pick up a few books. All of her feelings right now were so confusing. How was she supposed to figure this out on her own?

“Seriously, Waves. Just be careful with her. I’ve heard stuff about Nicole that just doesn’t sit right with me. You have too big of a heart. Just, don’t get it broken.”

Waverly stared at Wynonna pointedly. “We are just friends.  I’m serious .”

That’s all they could ever be, that’s all they ever will be.

“Well, I think she’s hot. So, if you’re not claiming her then she’s free range, right?” Chrissy beamed.

The brunette sighed. “What happened to ping pong?”

“Speak of the redheaded devil and she shall appear.” Wynonna muttered to herself, looking towards the entrance to the students lounge.

Waverly and Chrissy followed Wynonna’s eyes, landing on a popular redhead. Waverly smiled when they made eye contact. Nicole, Rosita and Dolls headed towards the ping pong table.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Nicole smirked, approaching Waverly.

The brunette was wearing the hoodie Nicole left with her the last time she seen her. It was Nicole’s favorite hoodie and if it wasn’t Waverly wearing it, she’d have half a mind to ask for it back. The brunette looked so small in the dark black hoodie.

“You’re Nicole, right?” Chrissy breaks through the trance. “I think I met you at a party the other night.”

“I’m surprised you remember. Glad to see you recovered.” She joked, Chrissy giggled.

_ Did she seriously just giggle?  _ Waverly asked herself.  Great. 

Not that she was worried Chrissy would somehow take Nicole from her. She wasn’t even Waverly’s to claim.

“Alright, well.” Wynonna cut in. “It was nice seeing your crime posse in our lounge but, we were in the middle of a game before you guys arrived.”

Waverly rolled her eyes, turning back to Nicole. “You busy?” She repeated the redheads words from the other day.

Nicole looked at her two friends, both of them shrugged. “Not necessarily.”

“Wanna play a game?” Waverly smirked.

Nicole laughed, grabbing the ping pong paddle out of her hand.

“We can play teams,” Rosita suggested.

“No way.” Wynonna disagreed. “Dolls has an unfair advantage. He’s an athlete. Neither I, nor Waverly, has hand-eye coordination.”

Nicole shrugged. “You can have Dolls, if you want him.”

Dolls rounded the table, sliding next to Wynonna. Chrissy watched the interaction, clearly amused. Rosita sat down next to the blonde, a smirk on her face.

“Like this is any better.” Wynonna rolled her eyes.

They played a few rounds. Surprisingly, even with Wynonna having the advantage of an athletic partner, Nicole and Waverly won more games than they did. Eventually, Dolls stopped playing and Rosita filled in for him.

Every now and then, Waverly would catch Nicole looking at her. Either causing them to miss the opposing teams hit or get hit in the chest with the ball.

Either way, the glances that Nicole was giving her along with the small smiles and cocky smirks, none of it helped Waverly ease her feelings about the situation at all. She wasn’t even sure what was going on anymore.

Nicole never, since the day they met, made a move on Waverly. The brunette thought it was very gentlemen-esque of her but she still questioned it a little bit. Waverly knew the rumors Wynonna and Chrissy had been talking about.

Everyone knew Nicole never showed up to class. She was supposed to be in two of Waverly’s classes. Which is probably why they hadn’t met until recently. Plus, Nicole sleeping with half of the cheerleading squad didn’t exactly help Waverly’s concerns either. Sure, there had been rumors about the redhead long before she arrived in the brunettes life. Waverly never paid attention to them then, she didn’t have to. Nicole, quite literally, was in her life daily. Whether it was her presence or mentions of her name. 

Waverly hardly ever had a second to not think about this woman.

She knew that rumors were just rumors. She was closer to Nicole now more than she’d ever been and in some way, she understood what everyone was talking about. Maybe, in a completely different way.

The redhead seemed broken. Something was just slightly off about her. Almost as if she had a secret that she was just dying to tell  someone.  She never let anything out about herself too much with Waverly. Yes, the brunette noticed. Nicole didn’t, in fact, like to talk about herself and it was even harder when she just masked everything with jokes or one-liners.

Waverly was in for a ride, she just didn’t have any idea how wild it would be.

Loud noises came from across the room, stopping the mini-game completely. Everyone in the group turned around.

Waverly made eye contact with the one person she didn’t want to see right now. Especially not with Nicole standing right next to her. She knew how her boyfriend was. He’d do anything to get in someone’s head.

“And here comes a stray mutt, on it’s way to mark it’s territory.” Wynonna mumbled sarcastically. 

Nicole raised her eyebrows in a questioning manner.

Champ and his man-posse came marching over to the table. He immediately walked right up to Waverly, slinging his arm around her shoulders and embracing her tightly. Enough so she couldn’t slip out of it if she wanted to. He leaned down, kissing her forehead and whispering something in her ear.

Nicole narrowed her eyes, glaring at him as she noticed Waverly’s entire body tense up.

“Got something to say to the audience, Champ?”

She knew who he was. A basketball player on Dolls’ team. For as long as she’s known Dolls, him and her both never got along with the man. He was more childish than he was an adult and he aggravated Nicole the second she was in his vicinity.

Perry, one of Champ’s friends, sat down next to Chrissy in the opposite chair. “Hey.” He smirked.

Chrissy scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Gross.”

Champ tightened his embrace on Waverly. “Just wondering what you’re doing in the same room as my girlfriend. You trying to pull something? Jokes on you, she’s not into girls.” He smirked. “And if she was, I’d know.”

“Even more gross.” Chrissy mumbled.

Nicole’s eyes went black and Waverly noticed the second it happened. A switch flipped insideher head.

“It’s not worth it, Nicole. Don’t.” Rosita inched towards her best friend.

“What makes you think you’re so entitled? That somehow, just because she’s your girlfriend that means you get to dictate everything she does?” Nicole got louder, squaring her shoulders.

“I’d watch what you say, if I were you.” Champ warned her.

Waverly rolled her eyes. “Champ, stop.”

Nicole snorted. “Yeah? You’re gonna do what? Lay your hands on me in front of the entire first floor?” She moved closer to him, uncrossing her arms. “I’d really like you to try.”

Champ went to go lunge at Nicole but before he could get to her, Dolls grabbed him by the arms and pulled him back. Wynonna doing the same with the woman.

The two students didn’t stop exchanging words until Wynonna pushed Nicole through a side door, leading to a hallway.

She pushed Nicole up against the wall with force, knocking the redhead back to reality.

“You need to take a fucking chill pill.” Wynonna warned her.

“Me? What about him!”

“What about him, Nicole? He’s Waverly’s boyfriend. I can’t exactly push him out of the room. That guy was about to pick you up and break you into a million pieces.”

“Of course you’d stick up for him.” Nicole huffed. “Why not, right? You and everyone else in Waverly’s life just turn a blind eye to everything this man does. Sit here and act like you care about her, Wynonna. You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t let her continue putting herself in dangerous situations.”

“Oh, yeah? Like hanging out with you? I know what you’re all about.” She took a step back. “If you think for a second I’d sit here and let you ruin Waverly’s life anymore than you just did, you’re wrong.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “What are you gonna do? Make up another rumor about me because you can’t decide whether you wanna kill me or be me?”

“I know you, dude! I know exactly what you and Rosita get into the second you drop Waverly off. You seriously think that’s someone she wants to be around? Think again.” Wynonna shoved the door to the lounge open, slamming her fist against the wall as she walked back inside.

—

The aftermath of situations is what Waverly hates the most. They’re in college, they’re all adults. Still, for some reason, no one can seem to let anything go. Champ and everyone else just drags everything on until there’s no point of return.

“You couldn’t just let me have a new friend for once?” Waverly huffed, crossing her arms.

She was currently standing in her room, Champ yelling at her for sticking up for Nicole. She hated when he got like this, it never ended good.

“A friend? You seriously want to be friends with that  _druggie_ ?” He questioned.

“Oh my God, she’s not doing drugs! How many times have we been over this?” His only defense was that somehow Nicole was this big drug addict. “I’m pretty positive I could recognize someone on drugs when they’re right next to me.”

“So, you’ve hung out with her?” He snarled. “That’s what you’re sayin’?”

Waverly groaned. “Why don’t you just leave, Champ?” She attempted to walk past him, heading towards the door.

The man didn’t give her half a chance. He grabbed her shoulders, pushing her towards the bed forcefully. Waverly cried out loudly as her arm flung out, hitting her wrist on the bedpost. A shooting pain ran from her hand to her elbow. She shoved Champ with her leg, kicking him in his stomach with as much force as she could muster up.

“If you’d rather choose a dyke over your own boyfriend, it’s your loss.” He said, grabbing Waverly’s wrists causing more pain. “Have fun being single.” One last shove and he was out the door.

Tears streamed out of Waverly’s eyes as she held her wrist, balling her body up into a fetal position.

This wasn’t new. Champ had hurt her plenty of other times, she was almost too familiar with the pain at this point. No, she didn’t have to put up with it but she did, stupidly. Just don’t ask her why.

Finally mustering up the courage to move her body, she crawled out of the bed still cradling her wrist. Her desk was only a few feet away from the bed but in this moment, it felt like miles. Her entire body was aching.

Grabbing her phone off her desk, she pulled up Nicole’s contact and pressed call. The line rang for what felt like forever before an automated voice came through the speaker. Waverly sighed.

The brunette knew Champ better than anyone on his team or in his family. She was with him damn near everyday of the week. You grow familiar with someone within such close quarters. She knew his favorite foods, how to calm him down when basketball became too much. What each tone of his voice meant on different days and how to respond to it. There became a point where his anger became too much sometimes. He would just snap and Waverly was the only one left with repercussions and scars to remember it. She’d covered enough bruises in her life, what was another one?

Worst of all, she also knew how Champ acted when it came to retaliation. Nicole  really  shouldn’t have gotten herself into it.

—

Nicole has already discovered that she’s not good with pain. In any situation, she ran the other direction when things went south. Things went south  a lot  in her life. She wasn’t even surprised that Waverly probably didn’t even want to be her friend anymore.

This was the kind of pain a car ride wouldn’t fix.

She did what she knew best. Headed towards the next party she knew was happening. It didn’t matter if it was a big turn out, as long as she could find someone or something to ease her pain for a second.

When someone yelled ‘ _Shots_!’ in the kitchen, Nicole whistled and hollered along with everyone else. She played every drinking game available in the house. Allowed multiple women to get her a drink. She danced, drank and then danced some more. Because how the hell else is she supposed to numb her pain? 

Why would anyone want to live with it?

When a blonde woman Nicole had been dancing with, grabbed her hand and pulled her towards a hallway; she didn’t think twice. What’s the worst that could happen? This wasn’t her first rodeo.

The colorful lights flashing around the house reminded Nicole of disco balls in night clubs. The music was loud enough that she didn’t even have room to think. It was peaceful for her.

Besides, she was too fucked up to form a coherent sentence in her head, let alone speak one.

So, when the unfamiliar blonde woman pulled Nicole into an empty bedroom and shoved her up against the door, lips on hers. She didn’t say anything.

Waverly was unattainable. She was way out of Nicole’s league and had too many body guards around her that made it too hard for the redhead to even get close. This woman was easy, simple. She didn’t speak poetically or laugh like an angel. She didn’t give Nicole googly-eyes whenever she entered a room— which was very confusing, by the way. Considering, Waverly is supposed to be straight.— And this stranger wasn’t trying to get to know Nicole.

One night stands weren’t new to the redhead; she just preferred not to do them. At this point, it didn’t matter much to her.

They ripped at each other’s clothes, fingers tangled in locks of hair. Nicole was sure she’d have some sort of bruises on her in the morning.

“Want a boost?” The blonde smiled at her widely.

Nicole would never pass up free drugs. She nodded her head, mouth slightly open as she breathed heavily.

The woman pulled out a bag of white powder. Nicole assumed it was coke but she was wasted enough to not care. It would get her high, right?

She watched as the blonde pulled a credit card out of, what she once again  _assumed_ , was her purse. She cut up two, thick lines and turned towards Nicole.

“Do you have a dollar?”

Nicole reached in her pocket and pulled out the few dollars she did have with her, they were crinkled up in balls. The woman took one, straightening it out on the side of the dresser before rolling it up into a tube. She offered it to Nicole, to which the redhead gladly accepted.

Coke was her preference. She had done it many times before this. Without questioning it, she stuck the dollar bill up to her nose and breathed in deeply, plugging the other nostril.

The high hit her immediately. She held her breath and then exhaled, leaning back against the wall. Before she knew it, hands were back on her and she was kissing the stranger once again.

Nicole would wake up in the same room the next day, not remembering anything from the night before and a tremendous headache keeping her eyes closed.

_The aftermath was always the worst part._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me on the bird app (:
> 
> @ aashjane


	6. Chapter Six: Severed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no trigger warnings for this chapter except for maybe?? mentions of domestic violence.

Waverly groaned loudly, hearing Wynonna pound on her door. The pain from days before was finally subsiding throughout her body but she still hardly got any sleep. Her sister knocking on her door at nine in the morning any other week would be perfectly fine. Today however, it was not.

As she crawled out of bed, she could feel her legs stretching from lack of movement. Waverly had barely gotten out of her cocoon the past few days except to drive herself to the hospital for her hand.

Wynonna came busting through the door the second Waverly unlocked it. She was already heading back to bed.

“Hello, little sister.” Wynonna beamed. “Rise and shine.”

Waverly groaned again. “What do you want?” She pulled the covers over her body.

Wynonna’s eyes went wide with worry. “What happened to your hand?”

The youngest Earp flinched. Her stomach dropped as she quickly tried to think of an excuse. “It’s fine. I just hurt it in cheerleading practice.”

Waverly hated lying. She felt guilty about it the second it happened and she’d let that guilt eat her up for days until she would finally crack.

“Are you okay?” Wynonna had no reason not to believe Waverly. Her younger sister never lied, she’d never even suspect it.

“I’m fine.” She repeated. “Why are you up so early?”

“I partied too hard last night, woke up with a hangover. Can’t go back to sleep so, I figured I’d come get coffee with you.” She explained. “I haven’t seen you in a few days. I wanted to make sure you’re okay after everything that happened.”

Waverly nodded. “I’m alright. I promise.” 

Another lie. She might as well dig her own grave at this point.

“So, coffee?”

“I actually didn’t sleep too great last night and I was going to sleep in until my next class.”

Wynonna looked disappointed. “Oh. Okay. I’ll text you later, then?” To which Waverly nodded.

The rest of her day went as planned. She went to class like normal. Afterwards, she headed over to the campus library for quiet time. Wynonna wouldn’t dare enter a library and the only time Chrissy was here, was if Waverly dragged her by the hair.

One of the assistant librarians, Jeremy, greeted Waverly when she walked in. He was a student in her Physics class and she’d been coming to this library almost everyday all year. They’d grown familiar with each other. She might even call him a friend. Giving him a wave, she made her way towards an empty table in the back of the library.

There wasn’t much that she needed to study. Winter break was two weeks away and the professors were being pretty lenient for the freshman class. They didn’t have any exams planned until after they come back on January third. If there happened to be a pop quiz, Waverly knew enough that she could pass it with an easy A.

Her mind wandered whenever she was alone with her thoughts. Even when she tried to stop and think about something else, it still trailed back to Nicole. Why hadn’t the redhead texted or called? They were still friends in Waverly’s book. Everything that happened was mainly Champ’s fault. Except for maybe Nicole, slightly, starting it. The brunette didn’t blame her though. Champ was designed purely to cause trouble.

Nicole didn’t answer the night Waverly called her after Champ decided, once again, to lay his hands on her. She had even tried texting the redhead, receiving no response. It was radio silence and Waverly wasn’t sure why.

Was Nicole mad at her? If so, that didn’t mean she had to ignore her. Waverly was more than capable of recognizing her mistakes and apologizing for it. She just wished Nicole was mature enough to have that conversation with her instead of shutting her out at the first sign of conflict.

Waverly couldn’t concentrate on anything except for Nicole. She was constantly worried that the redhead she’d grown to care about had gotten herself into something she shouldn’t be in. Was she in trouble? Was that why she wasn’t responding to anything Waverly sent her? The brunette was worried but she was also getting very tired of the silent treatment.

—

Nicole laughed as Rosita belted a song from Mamma Mia at the top of her lungs, downing a bottle of vodka in between verses.

This is where Nicole would find herself almost every night before she met Waverly. Now that the brunette was out of her life, she was back to normal.

Unfortunately for Nicole, normal meant pain. She was back to beating herself up about a girl that wasn’t doing the same for her. Why would Waverly care? She said it herself; she’s been offered the perfect life with Champ. All Nicole would cause her is more pain. She couldn’t just keep dragging Waverly down with her.

“What’s on your mind?” Rosita recovered from her giggles, leaning her head to one side and looking at Nicole. She passed her a rolled up joint.

“Waverly.” Nicole was honest. Rosita wouldn’t remember tomorrow anyway.

“What is it about women with the last name ‘Earp’?” She slurred. Nicole gave her a confused look. “I mean, Wynonna is a total bitch. Waverly, well, she broke your heart and I don’t like girls that break my best friends heart.”

Nicole chuckled, taking another hit as she turned onto another bumpy backroad. They were on the outskirts of Calgary. A place where you almost never had to worry about law enforcement. Instead, you just had to look out for deer.

“She didn’t break my heart.” 

She did.

“Then, why are you so beat up over losing her as a friend?”

Nicole shrugged. “A loss of good company is a loss, nonetheless.”

Rosita shook her head. “Yeah, whatever.”

Nicole flipped her right turn signal on, turning onto a dark backroad with a sign off to the right that read: 

_ Park Hours: Dawn til Dusk. No Trespassing. _

“Where are we?” Rosita slurred, shaking her head from one side to the other drunkenly.

“You’ll see.”

They drove straight down the road before coming to an open parking lot overlooking a body of water. There was a small opening at the back of the open lot, leading to another smaller parking area where trucks docked their boats in the summertime.

Rosita beamed. “Fuck yeah.”

She parked the car, opening the door and stepping out into the cold air. There was more of a chill near the water but Nicole’s body temperature was high enough from drinking so much that she hardly even noticed.

The two best friends spent hours playing on the docks. The water was too cold to swim but it wasn’t cold enough to throw the biggest rocks they could find and see how far they’d go.

Rosita laughed loudly as a fish jumped out of the water and splashed a few drops of water on the dock.

They drank, danced, played music and shouted at the top of their lungs about how mad they were at the universe for putting them at the bottom.

“I hate girls.” Rosita chugged the last bit of vodka before tossing the empty bottle into the parking lot and watching it bust open. The two women laughed obnoxiously.

When blue and red lights flashed behind them, the sound a police siren whooping, both of their stomachs dropped.

Nicole huffed out a breath of air. “I hate life.”

—

When the loud, annoying sound of her phone ringing woke her from her sleep; Waverly decided in that moment, that she was fine with going to jail from murdering whoever was on the other end.

This was the first time she’d actually been getting a good nights sleep. Of course, somebody would wake her up in the middle of it.

“Just when I started to dream.” She muttered to herself as she rolled over and grabbed her phone.

She was surprised to see Nicole’s name pop up on her screen it. It was three in the morning, what could she possibly want? Besides that, what was Waverly supposed to do, not answer?

—

Waverly sighed as she tried her best to open the door to the police station while still holding up a very drunk Nicole.

“You’re so amazing.” The redhead slurred.

“For the fourth time,” Waverly smiled. “Thank you. Get in the car.”

Nicole plopped into the passenger side of Waverly’s jeep, messing with the various things hanging from the rear view mirror.

“This is cute.” Nicole motioned to a heart shaped locket.

Waverly grimaced. “Champ gave it to me.”

“The boy-man has a gift-giving side?”

“More like a bribe but, sure.”

Waverly drove Nicole back to her dorm. The redhead wasn’t as drunk as she was when the cops picked her up. If Waverly didn’t drop the Earp last name, Nicole would probably be spending the night in jail. She wasn’t upset but after all this time, she didn’t think she’d be picking the woman up from jail at three in the morning. This wasn’t exactly her idea of hanging out again.

“Why are you even out right now?”

Nicole leaned her head on the window. It felt cold against her forehead and it was soothing as her headache subsided slightly. The hickey shaped bruise on her neck didn’t go unnoticed to Waverly.

“Where else would I be?”

“Home. Asleep. Like a normal person.” Waverly suggested.

“I think you and I both know my life is anything but normal.” Nicole closed her eyes.

Within all of five minutes, they were pulling into the parking lot and Waverly was practically carrying Nicole to her dorm. Was it okay to be mad at a drunk person? Even when Nicole was calling Waverly cute, beyond other things?

All Waverly has desired since meeting the redhead was to be closer to her. How much closer can she get than where she was now? She  literally  had Nicole in her arms. Why was she so upset?

Maybe it was the fact that the redheads neck was enough evidence that she didn’t care about Waverly as much as the brunette thought she did. It could be Nicole ignoring Waverly and all of her attempts at an apology; then suddenly, calling her up in the middle of the night to come be her knight in shining armor.

“Have I said thank you, yet?” Nicole giggled.

“I think an apology would be better suited for this situation.” Waverly stated sarcastically as she opened the door to Nicole’s dorm.

“You’re mad at me?”

The shorter woman sighed. “I’m not mad at you, Nicole. I’m disappointed. I know you got my text because you called me from your  perfect working  cellphone. You decide to ignore me for days, leaving me worried sick about whether or not you were safe.”

“What?” Nicole gave her a confused glance.

“Then, you call me up on the first night I’m actually able to sleep and have me come and pick you up from  jail  of all places.” Waverly rolled her eyes. “What a way to show someone you care about them.”

“What exactly was I supposed to do, Waverly?” Nicole yelled. “I was threatened by not just one but _two_ people in your life. I’m supposed to just pay no attention to it and continuing hurting you?”

“You didn’t hurt me!” Waverly yelled back. “Jesus Christ, Nicole. Get your head out of your ass for one second and actually listen to the people in your life-“

“Oh, right. Like you do so well?” Nicole scoffed. “You prance around with your giant boyfriend and act like everything is fine. Well, I  guarantee you don’t tell any of your friends that Champ was probably the one that hurt your wrist, right?”

“You would know if you picked up your phone when I call you.”

“What does it matter, Waverly? Everyone in your life hates me. Why shouldn’t you?”

“What did Wynonna say to you?” The brunette questioned.

Nicole sighed. “Nothing. Just forget about it. Forget about everything, I’m over it.”

“You know, you’re no better than anyone says you are. Maybe I should’ve listened when everyone told me to be careful around you.” 

Waverly slammed Nicole’s door, causing the redhead to flinch. She grabbed her pillow and shoved her face into it, screaming as loud as she could. By the time she was done, tears were soaking her pillowcase and her throat was on fire.

—

A week went by as everyone’s life went back to normal. Waverly would see Nicole on campus and give her best attempt at not making eye contact. 

Maybe it was for the best.

Nicole obviously wasn’t ready to talk about whatever was going on in her head and Waverly wasn’t going to sit around and wait for the redhead to get her shit together.

Champ came back two days after the argument with Nicole. He gave his best ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ and Waverly had no doubt in her mind that he was lying. Stupidly, she took him back anyway. After you’ve known normal for so long, it’s hard to break a routine. He was just another piece of the puzzle called  her life.  In the long run, who Waverly ended up with didn’t matter too much. She’d still get the degree she wanted in the end.

Wynonna and Chrissy were as faux supportive as they possibly could be with the entire situation. They just wanted Waverly to be happy and if this is what made her happy, who were they to judge? Although, pushing the brunette out of Nicole’s life simply because they thought she wasn’t good enough for Waverly seemed pretty judge-y to her.

If space was what Nicole needed, Waverly would give it to her with no questions asked.

“So, what’s the 4-1-1 with you and Nicole?” Chrissy asked.

The trio were sitting at a table in the dining hall. They didn’t usually eat here due to it sometimes being too noisy. Today was an exception.

“There is no news.” Waverly shrugged. “We’re coexisting.”

“Coexisting?” Wynonna snorted. “So, you guys aren’t friends anymore?”

“We are people who once knew each other that don’t anymore.. Simple.” Waverly took a bite of her bagel. “Besides, she doesn’t even want to speak to me. I doubt she considers us friends anymore.”

“That’s why she’s walking over here?” Chrissy raised an eyebrow.

Waverly turned around just in time to confirm her best friends words. Nicole looked tired. She had bags under her eyes, her skin was pale and her hair was more messy than usual. She looked like crap but to Waverly, she was still beautiful.

“You look like hell.” Wynonna commented as the redhead walked up to the table.

“Gee, thanks. I was going for ‘homeless teen that hasn’t slept in a week’.” She sneered.

“Did you need something, Haught-head?” 

She turned to Waverly. The brunette immediately noticed the pain in Nicole’s eyes. She didn’t hide it as well as she thought.

“Do you have a minute?”

Waverly paused, weighing the question. They hadn’t spoken in weeks and now, she needed a minute?

“I suppose I can spare sixty seconds.”

“But if she’s not back within that time frame, I _will_ come looking for you.” Wynonna warned the redhead to which she rolled her eyes in response.

Chrissy and Wynonna watched as Waverly got up from the table and followed Nicole out of the dining hall.

The blonde bumped Wynonna’s shoulder, shoving a french fry in her mouth. “Hey, did Waverly tell you how she hurt her wrist?”

Wynonna frowned. “She told me she hurt it at cheerleading practice.”

Chrissy hummed. “Funny, she told me she fell walking to the library one day.”

They both stared at the doors to the dining hall. Why was Waverly suddenly keeping secrets?

—

Once they entered the quiet hallway, Nicole sat on a bench near a few vending machines. Waverly followed compliantly, taking a seat next to her but far enough away that someone could sit between them if needed.

“Sixty seconds isn’t a long time.” Nicole tried to joke.

Waverly stared at her. “Then if I were you, I’d make it quick.”

The redhead shifted in her seat nervously. “Look, Waverly…” She took a breath. “I was way out of line when I called you that night. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved in any of that-“

“I’m not mad that you called me, Nicole. I’m glad you’re safe. It’s just.. You do this thing and shut people out when they’re getting too close to you. I don’t blame you for what happened with Champ any more than I blame him.”

“Are you back with him?” Nicole couldn’t help herself. She’d heard the rumors.

Waverly snorted. “You have sixty seconds and you’d rather spend it talking about my relationship?”

Essentially, that was a confirmation that there  _ was  _ a relationship between the two still. Nicole sighed, not quite surprised; just more disappointed.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” She started. “I don’t want you to not be in my life. You make it better and you make  me  better. I’d be stupid if I let it go because I’m too stubborn to apologize.”

Waverly tilted her head to one side. “What exactly did Wynonna say to you, anyway?”

Nicole shrugged. “It was nothing.” She lied. “I just took it more personal than I needed to. But look, I understand if you don’t want me in your life. If you tell me to leave you alone, I’ll respect that and you’ll never have to hear from me again. But I won’t go down without a fight, at least.”

“I will ignore your deflection today and save that conversation for another time.” The brunette made a mental note in her head. “I’ll give you another chance but you’re going to have to work for it. You can start by telling me who left the hickey on your neck.” Waverly smirked, shoving Nicole’s shoulder with her own.

Nicole smiled, eyes wide. “Purely a mistake and definitely not an interesting story, trust me.”

Sure, Waverly wished Nicole would open up more. Sometimes she got tired of talking about herself all the time. Baby steps  _ were  _ possible and if that’s what Nicole was taking, Waverly wouldn’t pressure her.

The brunettes new normal included Nicole. It didn’t matter who was mad at her for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all of the feedback you guys have given this fic. I’m actually pretty shocked.
> 
> Someone mentioned in the comments how hard it is to read/write something like this and I really just hope I’m doing the situation justice. If anyone has any concerns, pleaseeee feel free to comment and correct me.
> 
> As for, the questions about Waverly getting back with Champ (I know y’all have some)
> 
> Just remember that in domestic violence cases, a lot of the victims don’t leave the relationship because they’re scared to or there’s something keeping them there.
> 
> Maybe that’s foreshadowing, maybe it’s the truth, maybe it’s maybelline (:
> 
> hit me on twitta if you wanna be friends 
> 
> @ aashjane


	7. Chapter Seven: Reconnections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: mentions of drugs/drug addiction 
> 
> the whole book is going to always mention drugs but i have to put it anyway.
> 
> this is just a bunch of fluff-ish? there’s also a tiny bit, if you squint, that could be considered close to smut but it’s literally nothing. you can skip most of it but there are a few important parts.

Remember the fact that Nicole wasn’t affectionate at all? The same goes for romantic. It was hard for her to remind herself that her and Waverly were purely  just  friends when she spent most of her alone time trying to think of things that would made the brunette happy.

Waverly didn’t want romance. She didn’t want Nicole in the same way the redhead was too scared to admit she wanted Waverly. They’d danced around it for so long it became normal for Nicole to feel this way and not have the desire to act on it.

Except, sometimes that desire wasn’t easy to ignore. There’d been so many times in the past when Nicole just wanted to reach out and interlock her fingers with the younger woman; or brush a stray strand of hair out of her face as she spoke.

She had to constantly remind herself that she wasn’t allowed to do that.

Champ had won in his and everyone else’s mine. In Nicole’s eyes, he got the girl but she got so much more. She got honesty, she got time, she got a second chance. Maybe to him, second chances weren’t a big deal. As far as Nicole knew, he got them all the time. For her, though? She was just glad Waverly wasn’t the type to hold grudges.

In her heart, she knows that Waverly deserves an explanation as to why she was so off her face that night that she called her. It was hard to lie to her, though. Nicole had thought of a million lies from the time she started using up until now and it almost never made her feel guilty. As always, it was different with Waverly.

Why couldn’t she just be like any other girl? Why did she have to be so  god damn  genuine and pure? It would at least make it easier to corrupt her with Nicole’s dramatized life. She wouldn’t feel so guilty.

When she pulled into the driveway of Dolls’ family beach house— with permission, of course— she put the car in park and grabbed her phone from the passenger seat. Pulling up Waverly’s contact, she pressed the iMessage button and sent a time and address for later today.

Waverly would recognize the place immediately, the second she pulled in the driveway. That wasn’t the surprise.

Nicole spent hours upon hours setting up Waverly’s surprise. She brought a lot of the necessities with her but she had to use a few things around the house.

Dolls’ and Nicole were practically family. In the year that the redhead has known him, she’s never once felt out of place. Sure, he didn’t know everything about Nicole. Just like everyone else. He was still there and he still cared. Besides, he owed her a few favors anyway.

It hit five o’clock and the sun was already starting to set. When Nicole saw Waverly’s headlights coming down the road, she only had a few more finishing touches to add on and then she’d be at the door. Quickly finishing up, she ran downstairs as fast as she could.

Waverly was already at the door, a confused look on her face when Nicole opened it, smiling.

“Wanna tell me why we’re at your friends beach house?”

“His parents,” She correctly playfully. “I have a surprise for you.”

Nicole was beaming, energy running through her entire body noticeably.

Waverly motioned toward the inside of the house. “Lead the way, mysterious lady.”

She followed the redhead to the stairs and didn’t ask questions, just took each step with strides. They got to an all-too familiar door and Waverly finally spoke.

“You do realize you’ve shown me this before, right?”

Nicole smirked. “Not quite.”

After reaching the top of the stairs, the taller woman opened the door and let Waverly enter first. The brunette gasped as she saw the entire set up Nicole had going on.

“What is this?”

“Dolls and I used to come up here all the time and build stupid forts. We’d act like we were in the army, hiding from enemies and shooting stick guns. Even as adults, we still had fun.”

Waverly arched an eyebrow. “So, we’re playing Army?”

Nicole chuckled. “Not necessarily.”

She ducked inside the fort entrance, giving Waverly no choice but to follow. The inside looked way different than the brunette expected. It was similar to a hallway that you had to crawl through, leading to a big open, room with blankets as the walls. Off to one side, there were pillows and blankets on the ground representing a makeshift couch. Fairy lights hung from above and a projector sat, facing a white sheet taped to a brick wall.

“How in the world do you come up with these ideas?” Waverly joked.

Nicole laughed as she sat down on the pillows, grabbing a book bag near by. “I was going to get a little picnic basket but I didn’t give myself enough time. I do have snacks and drinks, though.” She added.

Waverly blushed. “Out of all of my years of making new friends, I’ve never met someone like you.”

The redhead shrugged. “I’m sort of one of a kind.” She winked. “Want to pick a movie?”

The younger woman grabbed the stack of movies Nicole had presented to her, flipping through them quickly before settling on one in particular. A black and white, 1960’s style romance.

_Classic Waverly_ ,  she thought to herself.

After settling into the pillows, leaning back against one of the brick walls, they started the movie. Waverly was immediately interested in what was happening. Nicole was more focused on the adorable faces the brunette was making.

The movie was over an hour long and all they did the entire time was make jokes about the characters and the lives they chose to live.

Waverly recovered from laughter, breathing out. “I wish life was as easy as it seems in the movies.”

Nicole huffed. “You’re telling me.”

“My parents really set me up for failure by letting me watch so many romances as a teen. Dating is nothing like the movies in real life. It’s all so perfect, it’s unfair.”

“You know, you could have anyone you want.” It was more of a statement than a question. “Anything is possible. Just gotta use that mind of yours.” Nicole tapped on her own skull.

“I think my mind is my greatest enemy.” She confessed.

Waverly usually didn’t say deep and dark things, Nicole was genuinely shocked. Without letting it show, she lightened the subject a bit.

“They say when you’re not looking for it, the greatest moments in life happen.” Nicole reminded her. “Just wait it out. It’ll all fall in line eventually.”

“I wish it was as easy as just waiting it out.”

“It could be. If you didn’t settle for less than you deserve.”

Waverly snorted. “Right.”

Nicole stared at Waverly’s hand. She didn’t know the real story. Hell, she didn’t know any story. The redhead definitely wasn’t a part of Waverly’s inner circle. She also didn’t have enough friends to hear gossip around campus. Other than the fact that Waverly and Champ were so clearly back together.

“So, what’s the real story with your wrist?” She watched as the brunettes entire body noticeably flinched, pain flashing across her face for half a second. Nicole swore in that moment if she ever  _just so happened_ to see Champ out in public, no one would have the chance to break it apart.

Waverly gave her a look that told the entire story without having to speak any words. The redheads heart broke.

“Nicole,” Waverly put her hand on the redheads thigh. “You don’t have to worry about me, you know? I got it covered.”

She rolled her eyes, not believing the woman for a second. “Be real with yourself, Waverly. He’s a dick and you allow him to be that way. He’s never going to change.”

“Even if that’s true, it doesn’t change anything.”

“Clearly.”

Waverly ran her hand through her hair, ruining the perfect middle part she had combed out so carefully.

“Why don’t you open up? You want me to sit here and tell you all of these things but you give absolutely nothing in return.”

Nicole looked around exasperated. “This is nothing?”

With a roll of her eyes, Waverly replied, “ This  is earning back our friendship. You telling me things is simply healthy communication.”

“Telling you my entire past isn’t going to help me communicate any better than I do currently.”

“Why doesn’t my sister like you? There’s got to be a reason.”

Sighing, she decided there was no better time to reveal something about herself without stepping too far.

“My past, and sometimes my present, is not something I like to talk about. Wynonna knows shit about me that, if it got out and someone from my family caught wind of it. It wouldn’t be the best thing for me.” She licked her lips. Her throat was dry and if her hands weren’t under a blanket, Waverly would see them shaking. “I just prefer that my past stays in the past.”

—

Everyone had a daily routine. Whether it was to wash all of the dishes in the sink at the end of the day, or turn off all the lights before heading to bed. For Wynonna, she usually ended up in bed with the same girl damn near every night.

She wasn’t a mushy-gushy type person. Quite frankly, she hated anything that had to do with romance. Coincidentally, Rosita was the same exact way.

The dark haired girl ran her lips down Wynonna’s neck, sliding her hands underneath her shirt and scratching her sides lightly. Wynonna arched her back, tangling her fingers in straight, black strands of hair.

Rosita pulled the brunette up into a sitting position, grabbing the bottom of her shirt and pulling it over Wynonna’s head. Her hair was messy, lips swollen and Rosita was sure the woman before her had never looked so beautiful. She leaned back in, pulling Wynonna forward by the back of her neck.

Before Rosita could get to where she wanted to be, Wynonna stopped her.

_Wynonna_ ,  of all people, was the first one to stop her before she even started.

“What?” Rosita asked breathily.

The brown-eyed girl leaned back, creating distance between herself and her  _girlfriend_? 

Whatever they were.

“Do you know what’s going on between Nicole and Waverly?” She asked, a serious tone to her voice.

Rosita looked at her incredulously. “Talking about your little sister  _ kind of  _ kills the mood, Wynonna.”

“I’m sorry.” She apologized. “It’s just that- I can’t control Waverly. As much as I’d like to be able to protect her from every single danger that comes her way, it’s impossible. I’m only one person and she doesn’t necessarily listen to me. I know who Nicole is. I’ve seen her with countless girls from every borough of the city. How am I supposed to sit here and make out with you when my sister is out there fondling it up with my greatest enemy.”

Rosita sat back on her heels, realizing she wasn’t getting any further. She sighed. “Look, when Nicole met Waverly at that party; I swear to God, I’ve never seen her happier. The minute she met your sister, there was a drastic change with Nicole. I’ve never  ever  seen her that way before. Then, when the whole thing happened with Champ and they both so stupidly decided to be stubborn, she was more of a wreck than I’ve seen her in a long time. So, maybe stop thinking that she’s bad for Waverly and think about how good Waverly is for her, instead.”

Wynonna huffed, clearly defeated but reassured.

“Also, I wouldn’t judge Nicole too much for the things she does when Waverly isn’t around. You have to remember,  _ I’m  _ with her when she’s doing those things. You’d have to judge me, too. If that was the case.”

“Yeah, well. I’m not particularly thrilled with knowing that fact.”

Rosita smiled. “Shall we continue?” With that, she leaned back in to finish her earlier advances.

—

Waverly was laying flat on the blankets, singing along to a song she was playing on her phone. Nicole took a sip of her water as she watched the small girl angelically make her way further into the redheads heart.

Suddenly, the brunette sat up with an excited look on her face. “Got anything stronger than apple juice?”

Nicole gave her an amused look. “I could possibly make that happen but you won’t be driving home if you get drunk.”

Waverly laughed, “Fine with me, Officer Haught.”

The redhead cringed, standing up and telling Waverly to stay put as she went on her hunt for alcohol.

Much to her dismay, Dolls was somehow smart enough to hide the key before Nicole arrived at the beach house. The only thing remotely close to alcohol that she could find was champagne.

“You know me too well, Xavier.” She mumbled more to herself than aloud.

Nicole quickly crawled back into the fort with a bottle in one hand and glasses in the other. “This is seriously all I could find.”

Waverly sported a big smile, grabbing the glasses and pouring both of them a generous amount.

It didn’t take long for both of them to empty the bottle, Waverly more than Nicole. She didn’t want to drink too much. Just in case she did end up having the obligation to take care of a drunk Waverly. The night of the party, the brunette didn’t seem like she was anywhere near drunk. Nicole had never seen her slurring her words before.

Waverly held up the empty bottle, pouting. “We are missing s-something.” Hiccuping in between words before busting out in a fit of giggles.

Nicole smiled, laughing a little. “I don’t think you need anymore, ma’am.”

Waverly laughed harder at the word ‘ _ma’am_ ’. It took a few minutes until silence washed through the air once again.

It was dark outside. Nicole wasn’t sure what time it was but in this moment, time didn’t seem very relevant. She’d give Waverly all the time in the world if the smaller girl asked for it.

“What are you doing for Winter break?” Being nosy, Waverly sparked a conversation.

The redhead shrugged. “Who knows? Probably sleeping all day and night. I could use a good hibernation.”

“You’re not going home?” Waverly almost seemed sad by the fact the other woman would be staying at the dorms.

“Home isn’t someplace I look forward to going back to.” She smiled sadly, mainly because she knew she was lying; not only to herself but also Waverly. “What are you doing for Winter break?”

The brunette smiled, seemingly forgetting about the conversation before Nicole’s deflective question.

“Wynonna and I are going to drive home together. My parents have a cabin in the middle of the woods that we go to every year. It’s beautiful when it snows. Chrissy and her Dad come over a few times throughout the week and then on Christmas day, everyone sits down together and eats. It usually ends in everyone talking over each other just trying to get a word in but _I_ _ love  _ _it_.”

Nicole smiled at the thought of Waverly’s big, happy family. Something she didn’t have.

“Hey! I just got a lightbulb.” Waverly exclaimed.

“What?” The redhead furrowed her brows.

“ _You_ ,” She climbed up off the floor and leaned her head on Nicole’s shoulder. “You can come with us.”

“Oh, no. No way.” Nicole shook her head. “And spend two weeks with Wynonna’s sarcastic remarks? Your parents would end up calling the cops.”

Waverly sighed. “Unlikely. You said it yourself, though. You’re not doing anything. So, why not tag along? It’ll make me happy and you can bring Rosita.” She gave Nicole her best puppy dog eyes.

Knowing it was the alcohol talking, she agreed to accompany Waverly and her older sister on their ride back home. Chances are, Waverly would wake up in the morning and forget all about even offering Nicole a seat in the car. 

_Hopefully_.

Nicole would  _ love  _ to go on a mini-vacation with Waverly. Wynonna? Not so much. Plus, it was already hard enough hiding the fact that all she wanted to do was drugs when she was stressed out. How was she supposed to hide that from Waverly’s entire family?

Going a few hours without popping a pill was easy. Two weeks? That was torture.

“Come on,” Nicole offered her hand to the younger woman, pulling her gently through the tunnel entrance. “I’ll call you an Uber.”

Waverly stopped dead in her tracks, giving the redhead a sad look. “I’d rather not go home right now.”

If it was anyone else—  _Why couldn’t it be anyone else_?  She thought— Nicole wouldn’t even bother listening to them. But it was Waverly and somehow, this woman knew how to hit Nicole’s soft spot.

She lead the way to the guest bedroom, releasing Waverly’s hand once they reached the door. “You can sleep in here,” She opened it and walked into the room. “I’ll be right next door if you need anything. I’ll get you some water and aspirin for the morning. Your head isn’t going to feel too great.”

Waverly slid underneath the covers, fatigue hitting her like a train the second she settled in. Nicole smiled as she watched the brunette drift off to sleep, getting off the bed and exiting the room.

“You know, I was serious about what I said.” Waverly mumbled before she reached the door. “About coming with us. You’re always welcome.”

Nicole smiled genuinely. “Goodnight, Waverly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway hi, i love all of the feedback i’ve been getting on this fic. i literally love reading everyone’s comments and predictions, it makes my day.


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